I need some serious help

Well here's a 180 degree turn around from yesterday. I am A MESS.

I haven't eaten in... nineteen hours. And I have absolutely no desire to. In fact, I feel like throwing up, although that's probably next to impossible considering I've had nothing but water since before 4 o'clock yesterday. But my stomach is absolutely killing me, my heart is racing (after just getting up to pee and walking back to my room, it was 144bpm... my resting rate is like 75-85) and I am shaking like crazy... I know I should eat, but I can't, I just can't.

I'm no better than Catherine Fucking Linton. If you all haven't read Wuthering Heights... well Catherine is psychosomatic whacko that literally makes herself sick to get her way, starving herself, sitting in the rain until she gets a fever, and so on. I'm not trying to get anything, but I can't fucking eat. I have it in my head that I should go twenty-four hours, and then I can eat again... so at around five today, since daylight savings time happened. That's only five more hours. I need a shower, so once I dry my hair and do my makeup, that's about an hour... I'm sure I can find something to do for the other four hours... besides I don't want to eat anyway. I can't. I would probably just throw up anyway. I almost wonder if that would be a good thing. Meh.

I definitely have felt like cutting since yesterday... but of course I can't do that either. I haven't in almost three and a half years, I can't break that now. But I desperately want to, God how bad I want to.