Same shit, different day. I have to understand, I have to experience, to watch passively and intellectually understand is not good enough for me. Fucking being a scorpio. I have to be an active part, to suffer simultaneously, or else I am not good enough.
You all know what I mean. I have to understand, I want to, you know what I want to do. If you don't I don't care. What matters is that it's true and that's that and I don't give a shit that I'm not making any sense. I'm making sense to me, and that's all that matters. I have to talk about it in some capacity because I feel like I'm losing it, and if I do that entirely, then... I'll probably end up cutting. I really, really want to. I won't, but the desire is very strong. Fuck.
One of these days I'll let it go and appreciate my strengths. But today and every day prior, my strengths ARE my weaknesses.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Short stories about big news
I got a new car because my Sentra's transmission is busted... the new car is a 1997 Mazda Protege, 5-speed, 4-doors, with power locks and windows, A/C, CD player...
I move into my apartment on Sunday, and I have a church lock-in tomorrow, so tonight is the last night that I sleep in my mom's house as "living here."
I got registered for classes... lots of language. Two English classes and one Latin class.
Today was my last day of work at the autobody shop... good experience, but it was mighty stressful, so I'm kinda glad it's over.
AND OH MY GOD MY BOY'S IN THE ER!!! Thanks to dipshit, (a not-so-bright coworker who left the lid off) he got a bottle of concentrated glass cleaner spilled on his head. When we went to Starbucks he said he had a really bad headache and he wasn't feeling so good, so he said he was going to try to find a number for the poison control center... and when he never called me back to let me know if he was okay, I called him, and he was like, "yeah, I'm in the ER, bye." YIKES!!! Get well soon and um, DON'T DIE! Or lose brain cells or anything like that. Yeep.
OH! And Evanescence is FINALLY, four years later, coming back to Seattle!!! I have to get tickets! I can't find them yet, OMG OMG I hope they just haven't gone on sale yet... freakout freakout.
K that's enough for now... I'm gonna keep freaking out for a while here... and GET WELL VERY SOON ROBERT!!!
I move into my apartment on Sunday, and I have a church lock-in tomorrow, so tonight is the last night that I sleep in my mom's house as "living here."
I got registered for classes... lots of language. Two English classes and one Latin class.
Today was my last day of work at the autobody shop... good experience, but it was mighty stressful, so I'm kinda glad it's over.
AND OH MY GOD MY BOY'S IN THE ER!!! Thanks to dipshit, (a not-so-bright coworker who left the lid off) he got a bottle of concentrated glass cleaner spilled on his head. When we went to Starbucks he said he had a really bad headache and he wasn't feeling so good, so he said he was going to try to find a number for the poison control center... and when he never called me back to let me know if he was okay, I called him, and he was like, "yeah, I'm in the ER, bye." YIKES!!! Get well soon and um, DON'T DIE! Or lose brain cells or anything like that. Yeep.
OH! And Evanescence is FINALLY, four years later, coming back to Seattle!!! I have to get tickets! I can't find them yet, OMG OMG I hope they just haven't gone on sale yet... freakout freakout.
K that's enough for now... I'm gonna keep freaking out for a while here... and GET WELL VERY SOON ROBERT!!!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Stuff Stuff Stuff
So it's been a completely crazy week with not a lot of extra time, but there's a bunch of random stuff I've been meaning to write about, so here goes!
First of all, it's not something I want to make a huge deal out of, because I don't want to contribute to the problem, but all I want to say is my heart really goes out to Owen Wilson. Everybody has their shitty times, no matter how glamorous their lives may seem... Like I said, I know he really just wants some space, so I'm going to leave it at that. Just wanted to say, hang in there buddy!
Student Drivers: Oh my. My patience wears thin, especially living here in BORINGHAM where everybody drives five under for a year. I was in the car with my sister (she's almost sixteen) and oh MAN. I know her confidence is barely there, but there were many times I wanted to scream GO ALREADY ALRIGHT!!! Did I wait that long for gaps that huge when I was that young!?!? I dunno. Too timid. Way too timid. I'm not a super aggressive driver, but I at least know how to get where I want, when I want. Driving with people that are learning takes entirely too long, and I haven't got nearly the patience for it. In fact, I have very little patience for anything now that I think of it...
ROLLERCOASTERS! I was scared shitless of them until this Saturday, at about eight o'clock. When we arrived in Silverwood, I felt like throwing up just LOOKING at the crazy rollercoasters, but I sucked it up and went them anyways and OHMYGOD IT WAS THE MOST FUN EVER!!! All those years I've been missing out! I officially love rollercoasters. What a thrill! I love skiing downhill fast, not sure why I ever put two and two together there, hmm... hahaha.
Ohhh, some funny stories this weekend from the fact that I have now made friends with Dramamine. It's so funny, it makes me really hungry! I took it for the flight to Phoenix, and like an hour into the flight I was like... damn. I need to CHOMP. So there I was, stuffing my face on an airplane, when usually I would end up wicked nauseous. In fact, I feel like that pretty much all the time, which is why it felt so where to be so hungry. So anyway, I took some before going on the rollercoasters (just to be safe!) and sure enough, I was standing in line thinking, gee I could use some food! So when we got back to camp, I was stuffing my face again, and then one of the guys we were camping with was like, "Silly Dramamine, food is for boys!" And then in the car on the way home (where Labor Day Weekend traffic SUCKED by the way!) Jake was DJ'ing my iPod and what song do you think he started playing? Dramamine, by Modest Mouse. I guess it kinda became this whole joke over the weekend. It was so funny, I recognized the intro to the song and just started cracking up, meanwhile Nikki and Jacob were like... Huh?
Awesome times. Oh. The other thing I learned this weekend: roadtripping with choir kids is THE way to go!!!
First of all, it's not something I want to make a huge deal out of, because I don't want to contribute to the problem, but all I want to say is my heart really goes out to Owen Wilson. Everybody has their shitty times, no matter how glamorous their lives may seem... Like I said, I know he really just wants some space, so I'm going to leave it at that. Just wanted to say, hang in there buddy!
Student Drivers: Oh my. My patience wears thin, especially living here in BORINGHAM where everybody drives five under for a year. I was in the car with my sister (she's almost sixteen) and oh MAN. I know her confidence is barely there, but there were many times I wanted to scream GO ALREADY ALRIGHT!!! Did I wait that long for gaps that huge when I was that young!?!? I dunno. Too timid. Way too timid. I'm not a super aggressive driver, but I at least know how to get where I want, when I want. Driving with people that are learning takes entirely too long, and I haven't got nearly the patience for it. In fact, I have very little patience for anything now that I think of it...
ROLLERCOASTERS! I was scared shitless of them until this Saturday, at about eight o'clock. When we arrived in Silverwood, I felt like throwing up just LOOKING at the crazy rollercoasters, but I sucked it up and went them anyways and OHMYGOD IT WAS THE MOST FUN EVER!!! All those years I've been missing out! I officially love rollercoasters. What a thrill! I love skiing downhill fast, not sure why I ever put two and two together there, hmm... hahaha.
Ohhh, some funny stories this weekend from the fact that I have now made friends with Dramamine. It's so funny, it makes me really hungry! I took it for the flight to Phoenix, and like an hour into the flight I was like... damn. I need to CHOMP. So there I was, stuffing my face on an airplane, when usually I would end up wicked nauseous. In fact, I feel like that pretty much all the time, which is why it felt so where to be so hungry. So anyway, I took some before going on the rollercoasters (just to be safe!) and sure enough, I was standing in line thinking, gee I could use some food! So when we got back to camp, I was stuffing my face again, and then one of the guys we were camping with was like, "Silly Dramamine, food is for boys!" And then in the car on the way home (where Labor Day Weekend traffic SUCKED by the way!) Jake was DJ'ing my iPod and what song do you think he started playing? Dramamine, by Modest Mouse. I guess it kinda became this whole joke over the weekend. It was so funny, I recognized the intro to the song and just started cracking up, meanwhile Nikki and Jacob were like... Huh?
Awesome times. Oh. The other thing I learned this weekend: roadtripping with choir kids is THE way to go!!!
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